


Dancing With Your Ghost

by Yviinfinite



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/M, I Made Myself Cry, M/M, No pronouns used for Reader, Reader dies, Reader is Jesse's partner, Song fic, This Is Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-29 17:20:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20439665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yviinfinite/pseuds/Yviinfinite
Summary: Heaven only knowsWhere you are nowHow do I loveHow do I love again?McCree reminisces about his dead lover.





	Dancing With Your Ghost

**Author's Note:**

> [This is the song that inspired this emotional mess](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qzc_aX8c8g4)

__ **Yelling at the sky  
Screaming at the world  
Baby, why'd you go away?**

McCree scrambled to call for a medic. 

This shouldn't have happened. It should be HIM laying there, covered in his own blood, taking his last few breaths. Not them. Not his baby, darling, sugarplum, light of his life. The bullet was meant for him, not them. Shocked, numb, he fell to his knees besides them, shaky hands reaching out and cupping their face. 

"Baby..?", he muttered, and they smiled. A pained little thing, and their eyes shone with unshed tears. They opened their mouth to speak, but only blood came out of their mouth. 

__ **I'm still your girl  
Holding on too tight  
Head up in the clouds**

McCree didn't want to believe it. He pulled them closer, into his lap, holding them as close as possible. One of his hands brushed over their cheeks, an finally a tear rolled down from those eyes he found so beautiful. To think he'd never see them this alive again-

He broke down, screaming and crying, pressing his forehead into theirs. He felt their last breath on his face, and then they were still, eyes still open, but lifeless. They were... dead.

_ **Heaven only knows  
Where you are now** _

Angela had tried her best, but it wasn't enough. A deathly silence overcame the small group of Overwatch as they buried their fallen friend and comrade. 

McCree was tired of them saying that his darling was in a better place now. He didn't want them in a better place, he wanted them safe and happy in his arms. Breathing. Alive. 

_ **How do I love  
How do I love again?** _

The funeral had been directly after the mission gone wrong, and McCree was hesitant to go home. Where they had lived too. He wasn't ready to face the truth, and much less ready to face the future without them by his side.

So he spent the first night drinking in the common area until he passed out. At least drunk he didn't feel the pain as strongly. 

_ **How do I trust  
How do I trust again?** _

He had lost friends before. Even family. But nothing compared to the emptiness he felt, now that they were gone. Hanzo stayed with him for an hour and a half, drinking in companionable silence, both men lost in their own little worlds. But the older Shimada departed with a hand on the cowboys shoulder. McCree didn't blame him, he wouldn't want to be around himself either if he had the choice. 

After Hanzo came Jack. The old man talked with him, or at him. McCree didn't answer, he only kept staring into his whiskey. When it was empty, Jack was id enough to re-fill it for him. 

__ **I stay up all night  
Tell myself I'm alright  
Baby, you're just harder to see than most**

Sometime in the night Lucio joined him too, the usually upbeat DJ somber for a change, with red puffy eyes. McCree knew the whole base was mourning. Lucio too sat with him quietly, fiddling with something in his hands. Finally, he placed a disc on the table, and for the first time since McCree sat down, he looked at something else than his glass. 

"Watch it whenever you're ready", Lucio chocked out. "I'm sure they would have wanted you to have this." McCree reached for it, running his fingers over the material, but he didn't pick it up just yet. 

__ **I put the record on**  
Wait 'til I hear our song  
Every night I'm dancing with your ghost  
Every night I'm dancing with your ghost 

His dreams were pleasant. He held their hand, they laughed at something he said and kissed him like it was their first kiss. McCree ran his hands through their hair, pulling them close and holding on. 

"Jesse", they murmured, happily, in love. He sighed, a small smile on his lips. "Jesse?", they said again. And then again, and again. 

Their voice morphed into Angelas voice, their face exchanged by the worried doctors'. Reality hit McCree like a bus, and instantly he chocked up. He knew he had passed out from drinking, his head pounded enough to tell him that. 

If his darling were here they would laugh at him, hand him an aspirin and play with his hair until his head got better. 

__ **Never got the chance**  
To say a last goodbye  
I gotta move on  
But it hurts to try 

McCree wasn't really alone after that. One or to people were usually in his vicinity. They were probably worried about his mental health, but he would never harm himself. He promised his darling that much after they became a couple. They promised the same thing.

He still hadn't been in his home yet, even if it had been a week. He used the showers by the gym and slept in the common area. The disc Lucio gave him was still on the table, untouched. 

Maybe it was time to go home.

_ **How do I love  
How do I love again?** _

Exactly as he left it. McCree felt as if his home was frozen in a better time. Clothes were still strewn about - both his and his baby's - their favourite blanket was on the couch from their last movie night before- 

Before-

McCree broke down, falling to his knees in the middle of his living room. Blindly, he grabbed for the blanket, pressing the soft material to his face and taking in the scent of his partner that was still mingling. 

_ **How do I trust  
How do I trust again?** _

He thought back to all the night he had spent with them, to all the meals they had together, to every happy, every sad moment he had with them. McCree wasn't sure if he would ever be able to love again after his Darling passed away. He swore to himself that he would try to be happy again, after he gave himself enough time to mourn. 

And it could be a figment of his imagination, but he felt as if their arms wrapped around his body.

__ **I stay up all night  
Tell myself I'm alright  
Baby, you're just harder to see than most**

McCree wandered through the rooms in his home. Every single one held memories he cherished. They played out in his head like a movie, and with each one he cried. But he also smiled. They were gone, yes, but the memories stayed with him. Until the day he could be reunited with them, they would stay in his heart. 

He kept the blanket, now soaked in his tears, close to himself, imagining it was him carrying them around his home, just one last time.

__ **I put the record on**  
Wait 'til I hear our song  
Every night I'm dancing with your ghost  
Every night I'm dancing with your ghost 

Now he was sitting in front of his computer, fiddling with the disc. Sighing, he pushed it into the slot, waiting for his computer to load the... video?

"Hi, babe!" They cheerfully said into the camera they were holding. McCree had to cover his mouth with a hand, tears once again streaming down his face. "So, you know our anniversary is today, right? Well, here's a part of my present. I put a lot of work into this, so you better like it. Okay? I love you." 

The image of them faded to black, and then music started playing. Mccree instantly knew what song it was. It was their song.

_ **How do I love  
How do I love again?** _

Pictures faded in and out of the screen, most of them McCree didn't know existed. A lot of drunk photos, or ones where he was sleeping in the background. Then there was a video of them baking with him, throwing batter at his face before he retaliated. Then one where the both of them were drinking, singing some stupid bar song with breaking voices. Then one where he was sleeping, and they put make up on him.

They had filmed it all in secret. And McCree couldn't be more thankful.

_ **How do I trust  
How do I trust again?** _

The last video segment was of them dancing slowly with McCree, swaying to the music together, their head on his chest and eyes closed. Their lips moved, but he didn't need to hear what they had said. The words had burned themselves into his head. That had been the first time they had told him they loved him.

"I hope that wasn't too mushy!", they giggled. "Well, even if it was, I'm about to melt your heart cowboy. I'm so glad I met you, and I know I don't tell you this enough. You're the love of my life, and I hope I'll spend the rest of my life with you." 

__ **I stay up all night**  
Tell myself I'm alright  
Baby, you're just harder to see than most  
I put the record on  
Wait 'til I hear our song 

Years and years passed. McCree never loved that deeply again, he never found another partner, but that was alright. He helped save the world once more, succumbing to a sickness years after that, his adopted children surrounding him.

They were waiting for him, teary eyed but smiling. He rushed up to them, scooping them into his arms. They laughed and sobbed at the same time, spinning and spinning until they slowed. McCree grabbed their face, kissing them with as much emotion as possible. Faintly, in the background, he heard it. Their song. 

They began swaying, neither saying a word. McCree smiled whole-heartedly. Yes, he was a bit saddened that he had to leave his kids, but they were strong. They'd keep going and going. 

He had them in his arms again, dancing like they did all those years ago. And this time, they could dance for all of eternity.

__ **Every night I'm dancing with your ghost  
Every night I'm dancing with your ghost  
Every night I'm dancing with your ghost**


End file.
